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NailTamie Eylül 26, 2021

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Being cheap to be generous was Ardyce House's gift to Ms. Cheap - Tennessean

Posted: 25 Oct 2019 10:34 AM PDT

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When I heard one of my longtime readers, Ardyce House, of Donelson, died this week, I reflected on how she inspired me when I first started my Ms. Cheap column.

By all accounts, Ardyce, a homemaker, was frugal. It was not her cheapness, but rather her goal of being cheap in order to be generous, that grabbed and held my attention all these years.   

When I am asked for my favorite tips, Ardyce's 1996 "Cheapest of the Cheap" award-winning entry about the Salvation Army Angel Tree always ranks as the most inspirational of my career.

"Each year I am able to get as many Christmas angels off the angel trees by buying one year ahead," she wrote. "January-April or later, I buy girls' clothes, jewelry, accessories, toys, games for a girl age 14. I pick the angels for this size, and right now have an ample supply for four to six girls, cheap. If I didn't do this, I could maybe get one or two. All these items are new.

"I get much joy and satisfaction in doing this," she added.

Cheap to help others

Over the years, I have shared her Angel Tree strategy as a wonderful example of how we can use cheapness to help others.

I loved that she was focused on her shopping, and she made it a mission to stretch her limited dollars. I also found it smart that she started early and spread her spending throughout the year.

And, when I naively asked why she chose the 14-year-old girl for her efforts, she insightfully said it was because young teenage girls were always the last ones picked from the Angel Trees because they're so hard to buy for.

Isn't that great?

Ardyce was indeed frugal and known for her pride in getting good deals. Her daughter-in-law Susan House said, "She could make a dollar bill snap." But her family said it was her boundless generosity that set her apart.   

In this week's death notice, Ardyce was described as "a fun, loving, generous woman who never met a stranger. She always had a smile on her face and love in her heart. She graciously helped those in need and brought joy to many people."

Thank you, Ardyce for your wonderful example. And thank you for helping me see that being cheap is much more than an end in itself.

Her funeral service is set for 1 p.m. Sunday at Hermitage Funeral Home. 

Share your ideas

As a tribute to Ardyce, I invite you to send me your best ideas of ways to be be cheap in order to be generous.  

Reach Ms. Cheap at 615-259-8282 or mscheap@tennessean.com. Follow her on Facebook at facebook.com/mscheap, and at Tennessean.com/mscheap, and on Twitter @Ms_Cheap, and catch her every Thursday at 11 a.m. on WTVF-Channel 5's "Talk of the Town."

Read or Share this story: https://www.tennessean.com/story/life/shopping/ms-cheap/2019/10/25/ms-cheap-ardyce-house-cheap-to-be-generous-tip/4086968002/

Two Parents’ Legal Battle Over Whether Their 7-Year-Old Is Transgender Has Drawn A Child Services Review - BuzzFeed News

Posted: 24 Oct 2019 02:40 PM PDT

The Texas Department of Family and Protective Services said Thursday that it is "reviewing" allegations of "potential child abuse" stemming from an estranged couple's legal custody battle over whether their 7-year-old child is a transgender girl.

Anne Georgulas and Jeffrey Younger, whose four-year marriage was annulled in 2016, fought in a Dallas family court for more than two years over the conservatorship of their child, who was named James at birth and whom Georgulas calls Luna.

The child's gender identity has been at the heart of their legal battle. Georgulas, a pediatrician, has maintained that their child was diagnosed with gender dysphoria and should be affirmed as a transgender girl.

Younger, a mathematician, has argued that Georgulas "manipulated" their child into a "false gender self-identity" and has opposed the child's transition.

While both parents were joint managing conservators of their twin children, Georgulas had filed a petition to modify the joint conservatorship by restricting some of Younger's rights over the kids and requiring him to affirm the child in question's identity as a girl. Younger then filed a counterpetition urging the court to make him the sole managing conservator.

A Dallas jury on Tuesday ruled in favor of Georgulas, effectively granting her sole managing conservatorship of the two children. In its 11–1 ruling, the jury empowered Georgulas with the right to make all medical and psychological decisions for the couple's children.

But on Thursday, Judge Kim Cooks reinstated the parents' joint conservatorship, according to a reporter covering the proceedings at the Texan, a news site founded in 2019 by a former Republican state senator. The judge ruled that a parenting facilitator would be appointed and the two parents would share rights and duties of the children, including decisions about their medical care.

After Tuesday's decision, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott said the jury decision was being "looked into" by the state attorney general.

On Thursday, the office of the state's attorney general, Ken Paxton, sent a letter to the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS), urging the agency to "investigate possible child abuse against seven-year-old James Younger, whose mother has proposed chemically and surgically altering his biological sex based on her belief that he may identify as a girl."

The letter contended that Georgulas is "using alleged medical professionals to fundamentally alter her son's physiology." The letter urged the DFPS to "protect the boy in question [from] permanent and potentially irreversible harm by his mother."

A DFPS spokesperson told BuzzFeed News the agency had received the letter and is "already reviewing the allegations."

Georgulas's lawyers told BuzzFeed News in a statement that, despite her children being "exploited" as a result of the case, the mother has maintained her silence to protect their privacy and safety.

During the trial, Georgulas's attorneys argued in favor of an "affirmation" approach of the child's transition to a girl, the Texan reported. Younger argued a "watchful waiting" approach was better to see if the child reverted to identifying with their biological sex at a later age.

The jury's decision sparked fierce reactions from Texas conservatives — the case has been closely followed by conservative outlets — including Sen. Ted Cruz, who called for the state to intervene in the case and said that the child was being used "as a pawn in a left-wing political agenda."

And in a letter to the Department of Justice, a Republican lawmaker from Texas, Rep. Chip Roy, called for a federal study into the potential dangers of sex reassignment surgery and hormone treatment for children.

"A 7-year-old shouldn't be subjected to barbaric medical procedures because of an irresponsible adult," Roy said, referring to Younger's contention that Georgulas wanted to perform "chemical castration" via "hormone suppression of puberty," a charge that Georgulas's attorneys have denied.

"We don't let kids drink alcohol til 21. People want to move smoking age to 21. But we will allow a 7 year old to have his life and body altered like this? This is child abuse and the state should side with the father who is trying to protect the child," Sen. Rand Paul said in a tweet that was retweeted by Donald Trump Jr.

Younger has been vocal in his efforts to gain sole custody of the estranged couple's children. His website, savejames.com, features a lengthy dossier detailing the case's legal proceedings over two years and providing Younger's perspective on the fight over the child's gender identity.

In the document, Younger said that Georgulas "socially transitioned" their child through a name change and by dressing the child in girls clothes and using makeup. The document said that the child used the girls restroom at school.

Younger also wrote that the child "consistently and persistently chooses traditional masculine clothing" in his presence and "presents as male" in all other ways. He said the child only shows a preference for "girl's toys" and "girl's clothes" when at Georgulas's house.

"Affirming a son as a girl violates the Father's Christian religious beliefs," Younger wrote. "When James is with his Father, he refuses girl's clothes, says he is a boy to family and to friends, refuses to play with girls, and engages in typically male play."

In a video that Younger shot when the child was 3 — and which was subsequently shared by conservative outlets during the trial — Younger asks, "You're a boy, right?"

The child responds, "No, I'm a girl."

Younger asks, "Who told you you're a girl?" The child responds, "Mommy."

Younger's motto to "save James" has been turned into a hashtag, mobilizing several conservative advocates to voice their opposition to what they characterize as Georgulas's "forced gender transition" of a 7-year-old.

As a result, Georgulas has been subjected to "threats, harassment, and even vandalism," her attorneys, Jessica Janicek and Laura Hayes, said in a statement provided to BuzzFeed News on Wednesday.

"A completely distorted and untrue version of events in this case has been circling the media," the statement said. "My client is being viciously attacked and threatened by complete strangers based on false and untrue statements. That is unacceptable."

The attorneys added: "The ruling issued by a jury of peers, after hearing both sides of this case, should call into question the distorted and untrue version of events that has been circulated."

The Ultimate E-girl Starter Pack - Teen Vogue

Posted: 14 Oct 2019 12:00 AM PDT

Hi, hello there, it's been (almost two months) since I've shared our VSCO girl starter pack. Two whole months for you to download TikTok and get on with the constant and intrinsically ironic trends Gen Z is pioneering. Because TikTok is much more than a lip-syncing app, its users have evolved it into a world of its own. A world where VSCO girls and e-girls and e-boys run free. Oh, but what's an e-girl, you ask? Allow me to try to explain, because I'm not an e-girl, not yet an e-woman.

According to one of the many definitions on Urban Dictionary, an e-girl is "a girl on TikTok that wears an excessive amount of blush, hearts under their eyes, cute hair, watches anime and dresses kinda lolita" and "a girl that has a sick Instagram feed, good/mediocre music taste, wears clips in their hair, has a cool room and probably watches the Youtuber enjajaja."

Basically, if VSCO girls are the modern-day Tumblr girls, then e-girls are the modern-day scene girls. They're a counter-reaction to the basic and chill vibes of the VSCO girls and soft girls (another starter pack for that category coming soon) with their hypersexualized child aesthetic that borrows from anime. But instead of uploading their fits on MySpace (RIP) now they have TikTok.

So, if you feel that they only live on TikTok, you're not wrong. Because that's where e-girls mostly live: online. Or you know, in electronic devices. If you see one out in the wild, you will just see them as a normal teen figuring out what they like (and don't like). Sometimes moms do know best, and it is just a phase or a trend.

This trend, though, has escalated to sites popping out of the blue that only sell garments and accessories catered to this e-aesthetic. Yet it wasn't always like this. As Vox reports, since its origination, e-girl has been used to disparage women. The earliest definition on Urban Dictionary from 2009 describes the term thus: "Call her an E girl cause she's always after the D." However, thanks to e-girls' power on TikTok, just like with VSCO girls, that narrative is changing. They're creating a community that is stronger than all the hearts on TikTok and will last longer than 15-second videos.
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